Classy Club
I couldn't wait to write about my experience at this latest tournament I played in just days ago. It was being held at a private country club...manicured grounds, manicured people, strict clothing restrictions (all white), gated entry, you name it. Everything about the place seemed to scream pomposity, so it was ripe for a roasting. I mean c'mon, if you're going to pretend you're Wimbledon and insist on keeping with "tradition", then you should have grass courts and not clay courts painted green to look like grass. Yet, of all the tournament venues I've played at, I found this one the most inviting and pleasant. Yes, Donalda is one classy place! The tournament organizers even called me after the tournament to apologize for any inconvenience the changes to the match schedule may have caused me. Inconvenience, I though? OK, my first match started a bit late, but that's normal in tennis. The other schedule changes only ensured that my matches were evenly spaced-out, that I didn't have to play two matches in one day in 40 degree Celsius weather, and that I wouldn't miss watching the World Cup matches I wanted to see. If any tournament should have to make such calls, it would be the one from last week, but not this one!
Anyway, I lasted all the way into the 3rd and final day of the tournament, and eventhough visiting tennis players weren't allowed inside some of the other areas of the country club, I had a blast. The tournament started off well enough for me as I sent the #4 seed home, right in front of his girlfriend, beating him 6-0, 0-6, 6-1. A rather unusual score. A match of streaks. I won the first 6 games, he won the next 7, then I won 6 more to finish him off.
With the seeded player in my immediate section of the draw eliminated, my next opponent seemed considerably weaker. Well, to my disgust, he ended up winning the first set easily 6-0, and even had match point on 2 occasions in the second set. As he was desperately trying to get that last key point he needed to knock me out, I resolved that if I let this panty-waste beat me, I'd quit tennis for good! So, instead of quiting tennis, I came back in the match and beat him 7-6, 6-1 in the next two sets, moving me into the semi-finals for the second week in a row.
Semi-final Sunday...I arrived at the courts a bit early, staking out a shady spot on the sidelines of court 5. I sat in my chair watching the grounds-crew prep the court for my match. First they smoothed out the clay/sand, then they swept the lines, and finally hosed the court to minimize dust clouds and sliding. I felt something land on me. Naturally, my first thought was that it's yet another fan tossing her bra my way. It wasn't. A premature pinecone fell off the tree above me. I took it as an omen of good things to come. I'm not good at interpreting omens.
My opponent showed up. I know him well by know. He's won many of these tournaments. He's the one who copied my shoes. In fact, he wore them that day. I didn't. I got myself a whiter pair just for this tourney. I knew he was good, but not unbeatable. After all, I had clay court experience. I played a total of 4 matches on red clay in Europe on my last two vacations there. I felt good until my opponent told me that he's Swiss, and grew up playing on clay, and there went my confidence.
Things were pretty even in the match, I was serving for the first set at 5-4, got broken, and lost the first set in the ensuing tie-breaker, 7-6. The second set was also even up to 2-2, and the next thing I knew, it was over, 6-2. I was going home. Maybe had I spent my changeovers focusing on strategy instead of text-messaging for updates on World Cup scores, things would have been different. I could have at least asked for some tennis tips via the text-mes...but no. I tanked the final set fast enough to make it to a pub in time for the second half of the France/Korea soccer match. Either way, two semi-final appearances in 2 consecutive weeks will move me close to a top-10 ranking.
Now, I'm still looking for a personal photographer to follow my career so that I can post some pics here. Someone with their own camera, a good camera (mine sucks), a good feel for the game, an expert air-brusher (I can't emphasize this enough), and oh yeah, must be willing to sign contract stating that the photos will not to be used for creation of shrines or voodoo purposes. Apply within.
Anyway, I lasted all the way into the 3rd and final day of the tournament, and eventhough visiting tennis players weren't allowed inside some of the other areas of the country club, I had a blast. The tournament started off well enough for me as I sent the #4 seed home, right in front of his girlfriend, beating him 6-0, 0-6, 6-1. A rather unusual score. A match of streaks. I won the first 6 games, he won the next 7, then I won 6 more to finish him off.
With the seeded player in my immediate section of the draw eliminated, my next opponent seemed considerably weaker. Well, to my disgust, he ended up winning the first set easily 6-0, and even had match point on 2 occasions in the second set. As he was desperately trying to get that last key point he needed to knock me out, I resolved that if I let this panty-waste beat me, I'd quit tennis for good! So, instead of quiting tennis, I came back in the match and beat him 7-6, 6-1 in the next two sets, moving me into the semi-finals for the second week in a row.
Semi-final Sunday...I arrived at the courts a bit early, staking out a shady spot on the sidelines of court 5. I sat in my chair watching the grounds-crew prep the court for my match. First they smoothed out the clay/sand, then they swept the lines, and finally hosed the court to minimize dust clouds and sliding. I felt something land on me. Naturally, my first thought was that it's yet another fan tossing her bra my way. It wasn't. A premature pinecone fell off the tree above me. I took it as an omen of good things to come. I'm not good at interpreting omens.
My opponent showed up. I know him well by know. He's won many of these tournaments. He's the one who copied my shoes. In fact, he wore them that day. I didn't. I got myself a whiter pair just for this tourney. I knew he was good, but not unbeatable. After all, I had clay court experience. I played a total of 4 matches on red clay in Europe on my last two vacations there. I felt good until my opponent told me that he's Swiss, and grew up playing on clay, and there went my confidence.
Things were pretty even in the match, I was serving for the first set at 5-4, got broken, and lost the first set in the ensuing tie-breaker, 7-6. The second set was also even up to 2-2, and the next thing I knew, it was over, 6-2. I was going home. Maybe had I spent my changeovers focusing on strategy instead of text-messaging for updates on World Cup scores, things would have been different. I could have at least asked for some tennis tips via the text-mes...but no. I tanked the final set fast enough to make it to a pub in time for the second half of the France/Korea soccer match. Either way, two semi-final appearances in 2 consecutive weeks will move me close to a top-10 ranking.
Now, I'm still looking for a personal photographer to follow my career so that I can post some pics here. Someone with their own camera, a good camera (mine sucks), a good feel for the game, an expert air-brusher (I can't emphasize this enough), and oh yeah, must be willing to sign contract stating that the photos will not to be used for creation of shrines or voodoo purposes. Apply within.
posted by Desiderius1979 at 1:19 PM
10 Comments:
This is the first time I've come across this blog ... pretty cool. I make EVERYONE I meet try tennis at least once, such a great sport! Anyway, if you have pictures I can "fix 'em up" for you (I try my hand at amateur photography and my camera is my baby but airbrushing compensates for my lack of skill).
Thanks.
I have no pics, thus the photographer ad. The airbrushing comment was just self-deprecating humour, not an actual requirement. C'mon I'm not that hideous!
Well, I didn't think you were serious about the photographer ad either. As for the airbrushing offer, I meant if your camera is as bad as you say it is then I could fix pcitures taken with it ... not fix you. Anyway, I was trying to be nice cause photography is something I enjoy and am reasonably good at, that's all. Good luck on your other matches ... sounds like you're on your way to the top.
I think my camera's resolution is too low for good tennis shots, so they r probably beyond repair. Well, especially since I deleted them all after I saw how bad they were. Oh well.
Regarding the ad...you seem qualified for the position. Of course once I'm making some $ at this, I'll be able to hire...at which point you will be subjected to a series of further tests and questions. Quick preview: You capture a great action shot of me serving up an ace, but your image clearly shows my foot was on the line...what do you do? what do you do?
Woah, did you just post that? It said 3 comments but I opened it anyway and there were 4! Sorry, got sidetracked.
In response to your question, the obvious answer would be to crop out your feet and leave everyone to assume that you did not foot-fault. However, any real tennis player/fan/critic would see right through this. Sooo, what I would do is shift the entire court to suit your position (can't shift just the baseline because the rest of the court would then be out of proportion)making it look like your serve was nothing but perfection.
Oh yeah, if you're wondering why I wouldn't just move you ... it's A LOT easier to move something like a tennis court than to move a person without making the edit obvious ... besides my time is very valuable ;)
"the obvious answer"...well, excuse me. Partial credit for arrogance/confidence, a necessity in the world of tennis.
The CORRECT answer is of course, get a new camera! Any device that appears to show me foot-faulting (a statistical impossibility) is obviously malfunctioning (faulty lens, incorrect lighting, anything but a foot-fault) and you'd be better off with a new one.
I guess I failed the test then. But you see, I am prepared for even the impossible. So although you foot-faulting or making any other mistake is utterly unheard of and may very well be faulty equipment, the photograph wouldn't be useless and the moment would still be captured. Maybe you have many many aces but to me, every one is precious and worth remembering.
But hey, if that happened and you wanted to buy me a new camera, I would never argue! I'd like a Canon Digital SLR please :P
I got no phone call and they treated me like dirt! What a bunch of goofy gerry-curl haired losers. They put me out on court 28 that had no chairs, no shade, construction, busted fences, the most badly maintained Har Tru courts in all of Toronto and this is supposed to be some fancy shit club? The hottest day in 3 decades and they put me out on a court that had nothing but hot air blowing in because there was barely a tree in sight and all this after playing a previous match that day when the temp was already 36C.
Donalda, nice club run by fucking piece of shit frugal morons.
Don't forget about how they shut the lights out on you in the middle of your match, and still insisted that you could continue playing in the dim lighting. Hehe.
I'm sorry to hear your experience at Donalda was not as good as mine, but it is kinda funny.
Post a Comment
<< Home