The Sensation...sidelined!

For how long, who knows..."long", is all the experts said. Arrangements for the mid-October tournament have been cancelled, and now the late October event is even in question. I may be ready to play by then, but a month without any practice will not do me any good.

Flattery will get you far

It's a well known fact that I'm a bit of a glutton for flattery, a whore really, but I hate hearing compliments from opponents before and during a match. "Great shot" once in a while I can tolerate, but anything beyond that is just annoying! Don't kid yourself, no one is that nice...but weaker opponents will try to use this tactic to their advantage so that you let your guard down. I know this and yet I still succumb.

Going into the latest provincial tournament, I was seeded 3rd, and with the 1st seed bowing out due to injury, the tournament organizer pegged me as the clear favourite to win it all. I guess he was unimpressed with the 2nd seed...a guy sporting a sun visor (at an indoor tournament). I didn't mind him freely proclaiming that I'd surely cruise to the finals, nor the overly welcoming demenour of the sultry front desk attendant...the kind of welcome reserved only for the best, but I didn't care for it from my quarterfinal opponent. I've seen him around at tournaments, and although a tought competitor, I saw no need to be concerned. Before we even got started, he tells me how he watched me tear up the clay courts of Donalda earlier this year..."you played amazing...". Hell, I'd agrue if I could.

The match starts and I dominate, jumping to an early 4-1 lead. He'd try lobs, and I'd smash them down. He'd try to go to my backhand, and I'd hit clean winners. Then he starts with the commentary, talking to himself but clear and loud so that I can hear everything. After an unsuccessful attempt to expose my backhand, he utters "man, he can hit those winners all day" to himself. After an attempted lob, he'd yell "what were you thinking, he's two feet taller than you". Had he only complimented me on my great hair that day, I would have been putty in his hands. Alas, I did start feeling a little bad about destroying him so swiftly. That's no way to treat a fan. So, I toned it down just a little. That little soon turned into a prolonged 3 hour battle, that resulted in me eventually losing the match...final score 6-4, 1-6, 5-7.

It didn't help that the tournament director came over to watch the match, asking me between points why it was taking me so long to waste this guy. Nor did my opponent's sudden (illegal) injury time out in the middle of a game after I started waking up again, help me much. The worst part is, I knew all along I was being victimized by these mind games, and yet could do little at the time to prevent it from costing me the match. Well, I guess knowledge is only HALF the battle.

I used to laugh, but now I've become...

Superstar athletes are famous for their superstitious quirks and rituals. Tennis is no exception. Kissing a lucky ball or not stepping on the lines during changeovers are common practice. The bigger the star though, the weirder the behaviour, like Rafa's to-the-millimeter placement of water bottles in relation to his chair and alignment of the cosmos, and Roger's continued devotion to his longtime plain-faced girlfriend (I still love you Mirka, but c'mon, Roger's #1.). Well I used to mock, but now, although certainly not a star of their caliber, I at least accept their odd behaviour for what it is. Still, you won't see me doing shit like that, whether I make it big or not!

So my next provincial tournament is only days away. I was anxious to get my match start time, but I didn't want to seem too eager by calling right at 9am (overanxiousness is bad luck), so I called at 9:17am. Calling after 10am has also brought me unfavourable results in the past. Tonight, I'll be picking out my match shirt and shorts combo. Overly matched outfits are generally bad luck, so I'll be looking to mix it up a bit. Ultimately though, my winning attire depends on who my opponent is, his height, race, and favourite movie. So, to be safe, I'll bring a couple of shirts to the dressing room, and sneak a peak at the guy just before the match. I'll also get one of my associates to strike up a conversation with him about movies and relay the info to me.

In the morning before heading out I'll make my drinks. 90 parts water (brita filtered the night before to allow for evaporation of floride, chilled just below room temperature at 13 degrees celcius), 9 parts lemon (organic), 1 part maple syrup (pure maple syrup, tapped from the finest Maples in lower Canada, dating back to Samuel De Champlian himself). I'll mix it all in two 500ml plastic bottles, used no more than on two prior occassions (they're made with P.E.T.E...that stuff will kill ya if it breaks down). As for my woman and alcohol regimen before matches...I stand by my trusted get it when you can approach! Sure, I've been beaten by weaker opponents who swear that abstaining from sex and alcohol improves tennis performance...but I ask them, are the rumours really worth it?

Now, you may be thinking why at no point did it occur to me to actually book some practice time this week before the tournament? Pfff, amateurs. Practice may make you better at tennis, but it won't get you in the win column! You'll see.

Other Big Fish

What happens to a big fish upon his return to his former little pond? He finds other big fish. Opportunists, that've fled the open ocean to take up residence in the cozy new home. Yup, I lost my quarterfinal Club Championship match, quite impressively too...6-2, 6-0. Apparently, the other big fish at the club had grown quite large living off my scraps and tennis glory. But, having played and schooled him on many previous occasions, I saw no reason to worry, so I focused my efforts on making the match entertaining for the audience, rather than playing smart tennis. In true George W. fashion, I failed on all fronts. I played ill advised shots, and created unnecessary drama by getting down early, planning to mount an impressive comeback. This strategy I learnt shortly afterwards, would backfire. Even at 5-0 in the second set, facing match-point, I failed to recognize the seriousness of my situation...and well, that was all she wrote. I guess I'll go back to the big ocean...Provincials.

There's a Provincial tournament on this week, indoor hardcourts. Looking at my record, it's not my best surface, but I was new on the provincial scene when those matches were played. Now, I'm a top 5 player, with loads of experience. Things should be different. The venue is where I made my debut earlier this year. I shall try and not allow myself to be distracted by the glitter and gold of the facility, but rather focus on winning my matches. Will I be able to resist the glam locker-rooms, the sea of white towels, and courts as far as the eye can see? Stay tuned.

Player Bio

Desiderius began playing tennis at around the age of 10, much too late to ever consider going pro, but just in time for the pre-teen hormones to kick in. Tennis it was rumoured, was the sport of choice for gentlemen, playboys, and liberal femme fetales alike. In reality though, he found that the local public courts were home to 40 year olds of shady character who still lived with their parents and smoked-up in public. Although the kilt clad Catholic girls he knew from school that also frequented the courts did provide enough incentive to return to the place daily, they were still a few years short from being the liberated women of tennis myth mentioned above...if they already were, they sure hid it well from him.

Finding few of the rumours to be true at least at the public courts, Desiderius began to focus on the game itself and the quest for the perfect tan. By 2000, he opted for playing at an organized club down the street. There he quickly established himself as one of the elite young stars, rising through the ranks of the league teams and completing a string of 5 consecutive semifinal appearances in the Club Championships, without ever winning or making it to the finals (a record that still stands), before fading into tennis obscurity...but then, in 2006...

Player Statistics

Provincials (singles):

Current record: 10-11 [2-1 clay, 8-10 hard] [5-8 indoor, 5-3 outdoor]
As 5th seed: 2-1
As 3rd seed: 1-2
As 4th seed: 1-1
As 2nd seed: 1-3
As unseeded: 5-4
vs. seeds: 3-4
vs. unseeded: 7-7

Current ranking points (total): 957 (1,953)
Current divisional rank: 9th (out of 94)

Mar 2007 M.E (indoor, hard) 2nd seed.
R32 - Bye
R16- won 6-4, 6-4
QF - lost 1-6, 6-3, 4-6

Feb 2007 M.E (indoor, hard) 3rd seed.
R32 - Bye
R16 - lost 6-7, 7-5, 2-6

Dec 2006 Mayfair East (indoor, hard court) ranked 10th., 2nd seed
Quarterfinals - Lost 5-7, 4-6
R16 - Bye
Ranking points earned: 132

Nov 2006 Mayfiar East (indoor, hard court) ranked 9th., 5th seed
Semifinals - Lost 4-6, 4-6
Quarterfinals - Won 7-6(6), 7-5
R16 - Won 2-6, 6-4, 6-1
R32 - Bye
Ranking points earned: 261

Oct 2006 Mayfair West (indoor, hard court) ranked 6th., 2nd seed
R32 - Lost 5-7, 2-6
Ranking points earned: 105

Sept 2006 Mayfair West (indoor, hard court) ranked 5., 3rd seed
Quarterfinals - Lost 6-4, 1-6, 5-7
R16 - Won 6-2, 6-4
R32 - Bye
Ranking points earned: 174

July 2006 Prov. Champ. Rosedale (outdoor, hard court) ranked 8th., 4th seed
Quarterfinals - Lost 0-6, 4-6
R16 - Won by default
R32 - Bye
Ranking points earned: 174

June 2006 Donalda (outdoor, clay court) ranked 21st., unseeded
Semifinals - Lost 6-7, 2-6
Quarterfinals - Won 0-6, 7-6, 6-1
R16 - Won 6-0, 1-6, 6-1
R32 - Bye
Ranking points earned: 261

June 2006 Thornhill (outdoor, hard court) ranked 40th., unseeded
Semifinals - Lost 0-6, 6-3, 4-6
Quarterfinals - Won by default
R16- Won 6-2, 6-1
R32 - Bye
Ranking points earned: 261

April 2006 Eglinton Flats (indoor, hard court) ranked 70th., unseeded
Quarterfinals - Lost 0-6, 2-6
R16 - Won by default
R32 - Bye
Ranking points earned: 174

April 2006 Mayfair West (indoor, hard court) unranked, unseeded
R32 - Lost 3-6, 3-6
Ranking points earned: 105

City League (Doubles):

2006 Season, A2-division: 13-5
2005 Season, A2-division: 9-7 (captian)
2004 Season, B1-division: 10-8 (captain)
2003 Season, B2-division: 13-11 (captain)
2002 Season, B1-division: 10-10
2001 Season, B1-division: 10-8
2000 Season, C3-division: 25-3

Club Championships:

Singles
2006: Quarterfinalist
2005: Quarterfinalist
2004: Semifinalist (lost to Champ 4-6, 6-4, 6-7)
2003: Semifinalist
2002: Semifinalist (lost to Champ 6-4, 7-5)
2001: Semifinalist (lost to runner-up 1-6, 6-3, 4-6)
2000: Semifinalist (lost to Champ 6-2, 6-2)

Doubles
2006: Finalist with ds
2005: Champion with J.Z.
2004: Champion with ds
2003: Finalist with ds
2002: Quarterfinalist with ds
2001: Finalist with ds
2000: Quarterfinalist with S.H.

McLevin $ Tournament May 2005 (singles):
Finalist (lost to Champ 3-6, 2-6) Prize money earned $50.